For years I exercised daily, did plenty of cardio, and restricted my calories to the point I was way undereating. Yet the stubborn weight still held on, my thyroid wasn’t functioning well, and my lab numbers weren’t where I wanted them. If you’d told me then that the answer wasn’t a stricter diet or more supplements, I wouldn’t have believed you.
Looking back, I realized that my body was in fight or flight mode for over a decade. I had to step back and ask the hard questions. Not “how do I force my body to listen,” but “how can I learn how to listen to my body”? Here’s how to get out of fight or flight and a deep dive from my personal experience.
I learned through trial and error how the nervous system drives healing, and the simple, foundational ways we can begin sending safety signals to the body again.
Why Fight or Flight Keeps Us Stuck
One of the most helpful reframes for me was understanding that my body isn’t broken, it’s protective. What we often call fight or flight is simply the activation of the sympathetic nervous system, a built-in response designed to keep us alive. Our body sends us messages, sometimes not so subtly. I’ve found from personal experience that when we don’t listen to the whispers our body is giving, they can turn into shouts.
When the sympathetic system is activated, the body shifts priorities. Digestion slows down, detox becomes less efficient, hormone production changes, and inflammation increases. Sleep is often disrupted, and processes like reproduction and long-term repair are deprioritized. From a survival standpoint, this is incredibly intelligent. If the body believes it’s in danger, it will focus on immediate survival rather than long-term healing.
The challenge is that many of us live in a chronic, low-grade version of this state. Not because of immediate physical danger, but because of constant inputs like blood sugar fluctuations, artificial light at night, environmental toxins, emotional stress, overstimulation, and even undernourishment. Even if we don’t consciously feel stressed, the body can still perceive danger.
This realization changed everything for me. You cannot force the body to heal from a place of stress. You don’t heal your way into safety. Once you create the safety signals, healing follows.
The Nervous System as the Gatekeeper of Healing
At the center of this is the nervous system, which sets the conditions for what the body is willing to do at any given time. A key player is the limbic system, which constantly scans for safety or danger, often faster than conscious thought. This means the body can react before we’re even aware of it.
For me, this explained why I could do so many things “right” physically and still not feel better. I had cleaned up my diet, taken targeted supplements, and run labs, yet my body was still stuck. It wasn’t until I addressed the nervous system layer that those efforts began to work.
Symptoms are not random or meaningless, but communication. When the body is stuck in fight or flight, it’s essentially saying that it doesn’t feel safe enough to prioritize healing. That message can show up in many forms, including anxiety, sleep issues, hormonal imbalances, chronic pain, burnout, or weight that won’t shift despite dietary changes.
Understanding this shifted my focus away from overriding symptoms and toward listening to them.
Emotional and Mental Safety Signals
When people think about stress, they often think of mental or emotional stress. While that’s only part of the picture, it’s still a powerful influence on the nervous system.
Unresolved emotional patterns can keep the body in a constant state of alertness. In my own experience, chronic stress, overwhelm, and patterns that had been in place for years all played a role. I tried many different approaches, including therapy modalities like Internal Family Systems, EMDR, hypnosis, and traditional talk therapy. Some were helpful, some were not (like talk therapy), but none were a complete solution on their own.
What made the biggest difference was the consistent, daily work of gently retraining my nervous system responses. Over time, the small changes compounded into big results.
Putting It Into Practice
There are also certain experiences that signal safety to the brain. Feeling seen and understood, having supportive relationships, and maintaining healthy boundaries all play a role. Slower mornings and evenings, predictable routines, and reducing multitasking can also help the body feel more regulated. Even things like play, joy, and pleasure are not optional extras. They’re biological signals that the body is safe.
There are simple ways to begin shifting the nervous system in this direction. Breathwork is one of the easiest places to start. Something as simple as extending the exhale longer than the inhale can begin to calm the body. The physiological sigh, which involves a deep inhale, a second short inhale, and then a long exhale, is another tool that mimics a natural calming response we see in babies and young children.
Practices that stimulate the vagus nerve, such as humming, singing, or even gargling, can also support a more relaxed state. Journaling and gratitude practices can shift mental and emotional patterns over time. Gentle movement and time in nature help regulate the body in a more physical way.
For me, the key wasn’t doing any of these perfectly. It was showing up consistently and allowing the nervous system to gradually learn a new baseline.
Safety Signals and What the Body Needs
One of the most important shifts I had to make was realizing that safety isn’t just emotional. It’s also physical and biochemical. The body is constantly interpreting signals from its environment, and certain inputs can either reinforce a sense of safety or reinforce stress.
Light is one of the most powerful signals. Morning sunlight especially plays a critical role in regulating circadian rhythms. These rhythms in turn influence cortisol timing, energy levels, and sleep quality. During my healing phase, I made it a point to get outside at sunrise each day and to take short breaks throughout the day to get natural light. Now, it’s become a daily habit I can’t live without.
Just as important is reducing artificial light at night. Exposure to blue light after sunset can suppress melatonin production, which is not only important for sleep but also for repair and recovery. When melatonin is disrupted, it affects far more than just how quickly we fall asleep.
Minerals and nutrients are another foundational piece. The body interprets adequate nourishment as a sign of safety. Minerals like magnesium support relaxation, sleep, and hundreds of biochemical processes. Sodium and potassium help regulate fluid balance and cellular communication. When the body is low in these essential nutrients, it can interpret that deficiency as a stress signal.
This was a major shift for me. Instead of focusing on restriction or perfect macros, I began asking how I could maximize nourishment in each meal. Prioritizing protein, healthy fats, and nutrient-dense foods helped signal to my body that it had the resources it needed to repair and rebuild.
Sleep is another critical safety signal. During deep sleep, the body reduces inflammation, repairs tissues, regulates hormones, and clears waste from the brain. When sleep is consistently disrupted, the body remains in a state of alertness. Prioritizing sleep became one of the most impactful changes I made, even when it wasn’t perfect.
Reducing Environmental Stressors
Another layer that often goes overlooked is the role of the environment. The body is constantly processing inputs from the air we breathe, the water we drink, and the products we use.
Things like synthetic fragrances, mold, poor air quality, and chemical exposures can all act as subtle stressors. Even if we don’t consciously notice them, the body does.
The goal isn’t to create a perfect environment (which we can’t do anyway!). Instead, it’s about reducing the overall load. Simple changes like opening windows for fresh air, using an air filter, using a good water filter, and minimizing synthetic products can make a meaningful difference over time.
One important concept that changed my approach was understanding that detox isn’t something we force. It’s something the body does when it feels safe and supported. Trying to push detox pathways while the body is already stressed can create more problems rather than solving them.
Daily Rhythms That Support a Calm Nervous System
The small rhythms of daily life have a surprisingly large impact on the nervous system. The body thrives on predictability, and chaos is often interpreted as stress. Easier said than done as a mom, but it’s about making progress, not doing things perfectly.
Creating a slower start to the day, with natural light before screens, helps set the tone for a more regulated nervous system. Eating a nourishing meal before caffeine helps stabilize blood sugar and energy levels. Taking short movement breaks throughout the day, even just a brief walk, supports circulation, lymphatic flow, and mental clarity.
Walking, in particular, became one of the simplest and most effective tools I used. It doesn’t require special equipment or intense effort, yet it supports multiple systems in the body at once.
Consistent routines, especially in the evening, can also signal to the body that it’s safe to wind down. Over time, these patterns help retrain the nervous system to expect periods of rest and recovery.
Another piece that’s often overlooked is the role of enjoyment. Moments of pleasure, creativity, or connection aren’t just nice to have. They actively shift the body out of a stress response and into a healing state.
The Connection Between Stress and Hormones
One of the most fascinating aspects of this journey was realizing how closely hormones follow the nervous system. When the body feels safe, hormone production starts to move toward balance. When it feels stressed, hormones shift accordingly.
This can show up in many ways, including irregular cycles, increased PMS symptoms, thyroid imbalances, and changes in mood, energy, and sleep. In my own experience, addressing nervous system safety was a missing piece that allowed other hormone-supporting strategies to finally work.
Even during natural transitions like perimenopause, increasing safety signals can make a noticeable difference. Many women experience improvements in sleep, mood, energy, and overall stability when the nervous system is supported.
It Starts With a Single Step
One of the most important things I’ve learned is that getting out of fight or flight isn’t about doing everything at once. In fact, trying to overhaul everything can create more stress.
Instead, it’s about consistently sending small, meaningful safety signals. This might look like getting outside for a few minutes in the morning, eating a more nourishing breakfast, or taking short breaks to move and breathe throughout the day.
Over time, these small actions add up. They help the nervous system shift from a constant state of alertness to one where healing becomes possible again. Some of the biggest needle movers for me have been getting morning sunlight, enough protein and minerals, and winding down at night.
Final Thoughts on How to Get Out of Fight or Flight
Looking back, I can see that for years I was trying to build health on top of a stressed foundation. It wasn’t that the tools I was using were wrong. My body just wasn’t in a place where it could fully benefit from them.
When I shifted my focus to creating safety, physically, emotionally, and environmentally, everything else began to fall into place. Healing no longer felt forced, but felt supported.
If you feel stuck or like nothing is working, it may be worth asking where your body might not feel safe yet. It might need more rest, more nourishment, more light, or simply a slower pace. The body knows how to heal; we just have to get out of the way sometimes and let it.
What are some ways you’ve found to help send safety signals to your body? Anything I missed? Leave a comment and let us know!
